Nottinghamshire &amp; Derbyshire


<p>In an industry dominated by men since Victorian times, lifelong Derbyshire friends Beccy Edgar and Katy Raywood are shaking things up. With a breath-of-fresh-air approach to funerals,&nbsp;funeral home <a href="https://graveexpectations.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Grave Expectations</a> in Matlock offers a warm, compassionate and personal service that gives families meaningful ways of saying goodbye. Firmly embedded within the community, the pair believe in a holistic, nurturing and bespoke approach that supports families as they navigate a death. Muddy finds out more about their inspiring approach.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-why-did-you-set-up-your-business">Why did you set up your business?</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1024" height="683" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-room-1024x683.jpg" alt="the lobby at funeral home grave expectations in matlock derbyshire" class="wp-image-15946" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-room-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-room-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-room-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-room.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>



<p>&#8216;After years working in the industry, including at a woodland burial ground, I saw how often families were steered toward set packages or made to feel rushed,&#8217; says Beccy. &#8216;Funerals didn’t always reflect the individual, and people didn’t always feel properly cared for. We wanted to create a funeral service where people are listened to, where choice is respected, and where compassion comes before tradition or formality.&#8217;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-difference-does-being-female-led-make-in-a-male-dominated-industry">What difference does being female-led make in a male-dominated industry?</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1024" height="683" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-pair-landscape-1024x683.jpg" alt="beccy edgar and katy raywood from grave expactations, matlock" class="wp-image-15950" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-pair-landscape-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-pair-landscape-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-pair-landscape-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-pair-landscape.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>



<p>&#8216;As a female-led service, we naturally work in a way that is collaborative, gentle, and grounded in emotional understanding,&#8217; says Beccy. &#8216;Families often tell us they feel instantly at ease, which is important at such a vulnerable time.&#8217;</p>



<p>Historically, women were the ones who prepared bodies, organised rituals and supported grieving neighbours. It was only when death became more formalised and professionalised that this changed. &#8216;We wanted to bring some of that involvement and togetherness back,&#8217; adds Beccy, &#8216;making funerals less intimidating and more human.&#8217;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-sets-grave-expectations-apart">What sets Grave Expectations apart?</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1024" height="683" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-desk-1024x683.jpg" alt="desk with vases of flowers" class="wp-image-15880" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-desk-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-desk-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-desk-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-desk.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>



<p>‘Our approach is bespoke,’ explains Beccy. ‘We don’t use packages or templates. Everything is created around the person who has died and the needs of their family. Simple, traditional, creative, natural — we build it with you, with no upselling or hidden costs.&#8217;</p>



<p>And their support doesn’t end with the funeral – aftercare is an important part of this funeral home. ‘We check in, stay in contact and remain available,’ says Katy. ‘Some of the people we’ve supported have become close friends, which feels very natural to us. We also run workshops and conversations that encourage people to talk openly about death and grief. We believe talking helps remove fear and builds confidence and understanding long before people face a loss.’ </p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-this-doesn-t-look-like-a-funeral-home-what-have-you-done-differently">This doesn&#8217;t look like a funeral home &#8211; what have you done differently?</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1024" height="683" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grace-Expectations-willow-x-1024x683.jpg" alt="willow coffin at grave expectations matlock" class="wp-image-15948" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grace-Expectations-willow-x-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grace-Expectations-willow-x-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grace-Expectations-willow-x-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grace-Expectations-willow-x.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>



<p>Katy, an interior designer who runs <a href="https://nottsderbyshire.muddystilettos.co.uk/little-black-book/directory/howson-design-nottingham-interiors/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Howson Design,</a> created the warm, calm décor you&#8217;re greeted with when you walk into the lovely Old Printing Works building in Matlock. She designed it to be the opposite of what people expect from a funeral home. &#8216;Instead of dark suits and clinical rooms, our space is filled with soft colours, natural textures, artwork and homely touches,&#8217; she explains. &#8216;It’s somewhere people exhale the moment they walk in.</p>



<p>But it’s not just comfortable — it’s purposeful. &#8216;We created a space where people can spend time with their person in peace, without feeling rushed or watched or like they’re “on the clock.”,&#8217; adds Beccy. &#8216;We believe spending time with someone after they’ve died can be grounding and important. You set the pace; we simply make the environment safe and gentle enough to hold you.&#8217;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1024" height="1024" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-exterior-1024x1024.jpg" alt="exterior of Grave Expectations building at night" class="wp-image-15879" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-exterior-1024x1024.jpg 1024w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-exterior-300x300.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-exterior-150x150.jpg 150w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-exterior-768x768.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-exterior-500x500.jpg 500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-exterior-1100x1100.jpg 1100w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-exterior.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">The Old Printing Works</figcaption></figure>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-is-being-environmentally-conscious-important-to-you">Is being environmentally conscious important to you?</h2>



<p>‘Yes, eco-friendly funerals are important to us. We offer natural burials, biodegradable shrouds and coffins, and advice on the environmental impact of ashes, including how to neutralise their pH before returning them to the earth.’</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-have-been-the-best-moments-since-starting-the-business">What have been the best moments since starting the business?</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1024" height="683" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-Katy-Beccy-laugh-landscape-1-1024x683.jpg" alt="katy raywood and beccy edgare of grave expectations matlock share a laugh" class="wp-image-15949" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-Katy-Beccy-laugh-landscape-1-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-Katy-Beccy-laugh-landscape-1-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-Katy-Beccy-laugh-landscape-1-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-Katy-Beccy-laugh-landscape-1.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>



<p>‘Some of the most meaningful moments come from seeing families relax when they realise they have choices and time,&#8217; says Beccy. &#8216;Helping them create a farewell that feels genuinely right for their person is a privilege. I’ve also really valued connecting with the wider community of people who are trying to demystify death and change the way we talk about end-of-life and grief. There’s a growing movement focused on openness and humanity, and being part of that has been reassuring and energising. And, unexpectedly, I’ve built long-lasting friendships with some of the families I’ve supported. Those relationships mean a lot to me.&#8217;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-is-the-hardest-part-of-the-job">What is the hardest part of the job?</h2>



<p>&#8216;The emotional side of the work can be heavy, especially in sudden or very distressing circumstances,&#8217; says Beccy. &#8216;Another challenge has been the resistance to doing things differently.&#8217;</p>



<p>Finding suitable premises for their funeral home was also difficult. &#8216;But standing by our values has paid off, and families who connect with our approach tell us they came to us <em>because</em> we do things differently,&#8217; says Beccy.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-do-we-get-wrong-about-grief-and-bereavement">What do we get wrong about grief and bereavement?</h2>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1024" height="683" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-lobby-1024x683.jpg" alt="lobby of grave expectations, matlock" class="wp-image-15953" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-lobby-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-lobby-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-lobby-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/nottsderbyshire/wp-content/uploads/sites/23/2025/11/Grave-Expectations-lobby.jpg 1500w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></figure>



<p>&#8216;Grief isn’t linear, and it doesn’t follow neat stages,&#8217; says Beccy. &#8216;But society often treats it like something people should “move on” from quickly and quietly.&#8217; Historically, grief was shared by neighbours, extended family and wider community. When death moved into professional settings, that community support faded. &#8216;We’d like to bring more openness back,&#8217; says Beccy, &#8216;encouraging conversations, creating spaces where grief can be talked about, and reminding people that they don’t have to go through it in silence.&#8217;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-what-do-you-wish-people-knew-before-planning-a-funeral">What do you wish people knew before planning a funeral?</h2>



<p>&#8216;You have more choices than you realise and you can take your time,&#8217; says Beccy. &#8216;Funerals can be simple, traditional, natural, creative &#8211; there is no “right&#8221; way -grief looks different for everyone. And talking about death beforehand makes it less frightening, not more.&#8217;</p>



<p><em><a href="https://graveexpectations.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Grave Expectations</a>, The Old Printing Works, Holt Lane, Matlock, DE4 3LY. Tel: 01629 363720.</em></p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-in-the-mood-for-more">IN THE MOOD FOR MORE?</h2>



<p><a href="https://nottsderbyshire.muddystilettos.co.uk/wellbeing/calm-winter-pick-me-ups-self-care-before-christmas/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Calm before Christmas: Indulge in a spot of self-care before the festive madness</a></p>



<p><a href="https://nottsderbyshire.muddystilettos.co.uk/things-to-do/november-is-go-whats-on-this-month-in-notts-derbyshire/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">What&#8217;s on near you this November</a></p>



<p><a href="https://nottsderbyshire.muddystilettos.co.uk/things-to-do/walks-near-me/forest-bathe-8-amazing-walks-in-the-national-forest/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Forest bathe! 8 amazing walks in the National Forest</a></p>


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